LIE LIE, LIE

It is hard to be Ben Nation!

I have been trying to find a fill in person so I can go on vacations or take breaks, but I cant find anybody. If you know somebody who would like to be Ben Nation feel free to let me know. I'm TIRED

Need I say MORE???????

Taeo has lost his appendix

Somebody has lost his appendix......look at all all the Starbucks, maybe next time it would be an ulcer? He had a late night surgery and he is doing alright. He went home today so we will see if Mary Richards can handle herself, Rhoda might stop by....

LONGVIEW IS STRESSFUL

TARGET!!!!

This freaks me out, I understand the cart thing, what freaks me out is Matt keeping such a close eye on it!

Without Meth Part 1

Oh Royce, you have a way!

She knows EXACTLY how I feel sometimes.

Thanks Ellyn!

Help, Portland took over Matt

Please somebody HELP! He has been possessed by the organic spirit of Portland. He lost his sense of humor (wasn't much to begin with) and started insisting upon himself... Is there a cure for this?

Comments, Anybody?

$$$$$$ I just got PAID $$$$$

"Look at me I got a paycheck"

I gotta STOP

I got a painting, a WHOLE case of Tap-Lights and a Unicycle. Nuff said!

I'm going to the Friday Night Auction!

I will let you know how I did!

I found a Poem from 2003

I wrote this...
What a mess 2003 was.....

Everything was how it ought to be-
We did it together, brick by brick it was ours-
I lived for you, was for you, can’t you see-
I relished our place while you spent the nights in bars
It seemed there is no other way for us to be-
I thanked them everyday, the stars
Then you decided to leave me-

Why didn’t you tell me that the world was bigger then us-
I signed my title to you-
I thought we built this house on trust-
We have Love so deep only realized by few-
I know I’m young, this isn’t just lust-
If only I could see what you were about to do-

How can I listen to what you say, when your eyes disagree-
Can you really just take someone’s being?
STOP, your taking everything from me-

Suddenly I’m on the floor, my whole being spilt on the ground.
I can look down and see myself as you left-
I have no breath, I can’t hear a sound-
This wasn’t you leaving me it was the crime of theft-

I’ll never walk again
I’m broken, each and every bone
You probably do this to all men
To heal, I am not prone-


Why cant I stand to find a new place to be-
But for you this was just a fling-
It seems there is no other way for me-
An everlasting sting-

Today I am dead-
I learned love with you-
Your really got into my head-
I now surround myself with few-

Without you I would rather not be-
Ill wait 100 years for your return
Thank you for loving me-

I know your in there....

Taeo, I know when you don't return my calls that you are in there. When you abandon me via phone I have no choice, but to find you and wait. Please don't leave me like this, I can wait all night outside your office. I know you have a new "family" now, but remember all the good times we had. Did you think I would just disappear? You can't say what we had didn't mean anything. "What? your wife doesn't know, well my friend she soon will and until then Ill be right outside...waiting for you Taeo".

I got one...ha ha ha

Look what I got from Gram, she ordered it (and everything else on T.V.) But she has no use for it now, so it's MINE.....it woks too

Soooo Grumpy today!

Tired, Tired, Tired.... I slept in shifts......

I want a new phone now......

SUNNY DAY!

Its a great day, I NEED to go outside!

YOU STOCK-FUCKER

I was supposed to buy 2,000 shares of a coal mine yesterday. I put in the order and was denied! I had already told everybody that I "owned" a mine and was singing "Coal miners daughter" over and over. I just got the bad news, I didn't get my mine.

This one is for you Taeo!

One-eyed Taeo!

Enough Said!

Ellyn...don't leave lady-things when you go!

What do I do with this? Ellyn left a Lady product behind and its got me confused. Do I keep it until she comes back?, Hide it far away and forget about it, then when I move be confused? or fall for the tempting slogan and promise on the contianer?

I can't stop drinking coffee -A LOVE STORY

It all started when I was little and my grandma drank coffee all the time. That generation was obsessed with black HOT coffee burned alongside a hot sandwich or right before bed. Like any good grandma, she would give me 90% milk and 10% coffee so I would feel just as important as all the other Lady's at the table. Over the years she would go 70%/30% then 50%/50% then 99%/1%, okay by 12 I was hooked. How embarrassing.

About that time (dating myself) was when the( "Expresso", not espresso but people said X-presso) thing took off and everybody was buying a shed and selling coffee. This was during the small town, poor trashy years of my life, so no Starbucks. I would order a big hoe-y Iced Mocha (with enough sugar to kill my dad again) topped with a dome lid overflowing with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle, shizzle..lol. Anyway I would watch the cool older girls drink these big dramatic drinks and listen to Paula Abdul wearing Exclamation perfume. As I watched them the would slup the drink, talk some more then take another sip. Every five rotations they would automatically shake the drink to mix the ice and coffee and chocolate again. I was fascinated with this wrist rotation. How they just automatically went back and forth with the wrist while talking like it was nothing! It wasn't nothing, it was freedom and Independence and control. Those cool girls had the whole world in their wrists and shook it up when needed to. They acted like it was nothing, but I studied how to be like them. I got my big ol' coffee (32oz) and started shaking it at anybody who would look. I would wait for people to walk by and try to look "natural" and shake my coffe and make the plastic meets ice sound to let them know I was a adult. Also I would wait till my cousin Chaunte would pull up to a stop light in her Pontiac Sunbird and shake my coffee out towards the window, we were so cool. Its too bad I didn't have anybody to talk to and this situation after a while it got out of control, I would start aggressively shaking my coffee at anybody who would listen, if out in public when those other girls would unconsciouslydo it I would shake it right then too, trying hard to validate myself. Can you imagine passing Chaunte's old Sunbird on I-405 and seeing a skinny Blondie kid shaking his drink at you for approval?

Thank GOD we moved to Kirkland. I had Starbucks, Triple J and all of Seattle at my disposal.

From this point on it was coffee, coffee, coffee. It ran through my veins. Before school I had coffee, during breaks I needed a fix or go into the Teacher's lounge and grab a cup. Seattle and Bauhaus also played a part. Sipping coffee for hours and hours. Letting the warm fluid and caffeine take over my body and soul. Ordering a black coffee in a white ceramic mug with saucer. I would try to carry it upstairs without spilling into the saucer or on the floor. I felt like it was a test, if you were "coffee cool" you wouldn't spill a drop, but a "coffee looser" would spill on the floor. I often got it on the sauce and graded myself at 89%...not bad.

Then there was the Capitol Hill Starbucks on Olive. I fucking owned that place. I would hold court with Ellyn and Walter, Taeo and whatever homeless drug addict I wanted to fuck. We would talk to everybody with an ever-flowing stream of coffee. When we moved to Las Vegas and I had to DRIVE to get my morning cup I was pissed. This was the point when I decided to "make it at home" that idea lasted on and off for many years and probably cost me $1,200 in equipment. Ive had every kind of contraption and coffee related maker there is, but it never worked.

The years have gone by, I have grown up. I learned how to use a coffee maker, but prefer the French Press. Still going out to get my daily hand-crafted mocha...(not iced or hoe-y, more gay-ie) and continue to spend all money on it. Coffee owns me, it took my money, yellowed my big teeth and prob gave me kidney stones, but like any love affair, "love is not what you give, but what you get" I LOVE YOU COFFEE

Freaking Haunted portland!

Portland has allot of scary spots, from the Portland Mausoleum to the haunted Victorian homes. We had an adventure wondering around lost streets.

Ellyn got a taste of portland

She wanted to become a tiny, black glasses wearing, little quiet, passive aggressive Portland bitch... I told her it was in the water.

Boyfriends are like cars

Some of them are kinda fucked and only you can start them!

Need I say more?

S_T_A_U_N_C_H

Who can take a nothing day.........

Modesto Molesto's Daycare

I would LOVE to take care of your children. My daycare provides alot of personal service. We have a carpeted van, candy and duct tape to fit my...ummm you kids needs. Don't worry about calling to make an appointment, I'm watching them right now!

Happy President's Day

I hate Gay bars

Guess what? I'm not CRAZY

My mom is interested in this house for sale on Craigslist, I emailed them and got no response, so I did it again, She is very anxious about it because of the price and location. Whats a mom to do? Call your Wacky Gay Son, He has a knack for finding things out doesn't he? Well today I am basking in the GLORY of another SUCCESS! I found the names of the former tenants and my spaced them, call their places of work and so forth to a dead end, then I have scanned tax records and lien holders and found phone numbers and we got the suspect. Suspect was hiding in Salem OR and He will show the house to her Monday... all in another days work for Ben Nation. Crazy or just INFORMED? You tell me......

Mary Richards/Taeo Smith

Just tell me who can turn the world on with her smile? Just tell me who?

Timewarp!

The day we took this picture was when I just started Very Vintage Vegas with Jack, My first business adventure, working, being passionate and unknowingly being taken advantage of. Look at me with hope.....you can see it deep in my lazy eye. I'm genuinely smiling, grabbing onto that mid-century post while I was grabbing onto the future... ahhhhhhh

Taeo says I look like him!

"A PIE IN THE EYE, IS WORTH TWO IN THE SKY"

This is ME!

This is what I look like and this is what I feel like. I need Coffee.

Friday Night Auction!

I got a few things, Cynthia was down for the fun,
Also I bought some body's URN, yup the thing that their ashes are in, It's quite exquisite, Ill dump out the old BITCH and put my own ashes in there someday!

Why is it like this!

OMG. I was trying to be Portland today, I had jacket over a sweater, a recycled fiber shoulder bag, mini laptop and Ipod. I went to get coffee, wasn't being to friendly because the natives don't like that here, and ordered a mocha.

But the the person behind me started chatting with the barista, apparently he works there and is coming in on his day off for coffee, well they start talking and forget my order and "Mr. hairless, legs day off" gets his drink and I'm just a memory. I decided to bring this to their attention and since Portland people don't make eye contact they didn't remember me and treated me as if I were Brian Sterm trying to scam a mocha out of the place.

Last night we went to Pretentious Stump town on Stark, the one with no hours posted. The coffee wench asked if I wanted a "for here" cup, well I'm GAY, silly of course I want a big ol' cup with saucer....hello dishes! Just as I got to my seat after carefully balancing my cup on the saucer across the whole room, A man from the back came out and shouted "were CLOSED!" now I had to balance the cup all the way back and try to use my wonkey eyes to pour it into a paper cup before Ive even had a sip.

I AM SEATTLE, I AM COFFEE CULTURE, Who was cooler the Ellyn and I sitting at Bauhaus with an inflatable penguin while we pretended to smoke and discuss things. Dammit. Now I'm in this coffee world on un-friendly people who snub you and think they are so cool because they only talk to each other...remember folks its still the Service Industry

Akward!

I'm sorta new to this "public" laundry room thing. As we all remember I only ran into Walter or Genie when I was in Seattle. So now its a bigger laundry room and more people come and go, Here is the problem,

1. What is the social etiquette for talking to your neighbors?

2. Do I have to respond when they speak?

3. How far should I go when flirting with a cute guy while doing laundry?

4. If the cute guy ignores me, is it okay to go into the dryer and steal something of his to keep as my own?

5. What if your stuff is in the washer and somebody moves it to a different washer and uses the one you had been using, that means they put their soap and and stuff to run your laundry where they want, to free up their OCD machine. what do you do?

6. When you walk in and somebody is folding their laundry, what should I do, they always stop and stare, judging my clothes while they fold, Sorry I have allot of black T-Shirts and Matt only wears blue and white, Sorry I have so many socks. GO AWAY! Fold that in your own home, I have a small apartment and I have folded in so many places in here, In the PRIVACY of my own home!

Or is it like being in the wedding party, you get laid in the laundry room, Its sexy to wash your boxers with mine....., Sexily fold that sweater into a neat bundle, the neater you fold the better lover you are? Or is it that Sexy "towel-fold under the chin" thing, that lets me know your ready and willing?

I cant take it, I am getting so many mixed signals in there and people are touching my clothes and I'm just going to dry clean everything!

?

Taeo or Terri Gross from NPR, hummmm?

Lets just put this out there.

There are many similarities between these two "characters" that I can't explain.